Saturday, February 6, 2010

Swinging!


Yesterday, the sun came out for the first time in over a week. And today, we've had a full day of sun! Clara thought it would be a good idea to go out and swing.

And I literally just heard this from the other room as I was uploading that picture.

Clara trying to wake Evan up from an afternoon nap on the couch: "Daddy, you need to wake up."

"mmm. . . not yet."

"Daddy, you need to eat this." I know she's showing him a bowl of cut-up pears that I left on the table for him. She already ate her slices.

"mmm."

"It'll help you poop!" she tells him.

My daughter has already learned the value of a diet high in fiber. I'm proud.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Silence

I'm alone, and I'm working on the introduction.

Do you know how much easier it is to think when there is NO background noise? (Except for the dishwasher running.) No little girl chatter, no Snow White scenes . . . ahhh. This is the first time in a week that I've worked alone. I have to say, it's a relief.

Clara and Evan are having a daddy-daughter day. He's taking her out for donuts (don't worry, I also made them take bananas and yogurt) and then to campus for a little while. Thankfully, she's feeling much better--though she did have to take her hankie with her. :)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Poor Baby

Thank you to everyone who encouraged me after my post yesterday. You all really do help me. So much.

Want to hear a story?

Last night around 8 pm, I noticed that Clara was getting a runny nose. Nothing alarming, though. Then, she had a hard time going to sleep and only about 45 minutes after she finally went down, she was up again with a raging case of croup. I'm usually pretty good about keeping my head in a crisis, but this scared even me. I first took her into the bathroom and started the shower running, but quickly saw that it wasn't going to help--she was completely panicked, barely able to breath in or out. So I grabbed blankets from the bed and took her outside, hoping that the cool night air would help. I really, really didn't want to have to take her to the ER. After a few minutes outside, she was able to calm down and fell into a restless sleep. I, on the other hand, was totally awake and freezing.

Fortunately, I was at least wearing the warmest slippers known to man (thanks to my mother-in-law) and a cozy robe (which, come to think of it, was also a gift from my mother-in-law--thanks, Ruth!). Clara and I stayed outside while Evan contacted our pediatrician and went to pick up an emergency supply of medicine (a steroid). I was grateful that the doctor would phone in the prescription instead of making us come to the hospital. I was also grateful that it was above freezing last night.

After a dose of the steroid, we went inside, and finally got in bed well after 1 am. Clara slept fitfully all night, so I was up several times an hour propping her up again and soothing her through coughing fits. She also was having weird dreams, so she kept waking up and asking me outlandish questions or informing me of strange things. Needless to say, I'm tired today. And so is she.

When she woke up this morning, I was soothing her and called her "doll darling." In a pathetic voice, she said, "Call me 'poor baby' instead."

She's doing a little better now. And that's my story. Don't you want to call Clara "poor baby" too?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Update, for lack of a better title

This past week has been a little difficult. I'm feeling stressed all the time, and the weather is cold and dreary, which doesn't help my mood. Bleh. But here's an update anyway.

The dissertation continues to move along. I'm working on the introduction now, and am done with the five chapters, I guess. Can you ever really be done with something like this? I think at some point, you just run out of time and have to call it good. And that's where I'm at right now. So. Onto the introduction.

This weekend, we tried to spend a lot of time together as a family. That helped me a lot. On Sunday, we bought Clara a swing set. I've been looking on Craigslist for a year and this was the cheapest, highest quality one I've seen. It's galvanized steel and about 15 years old, so, at first, it's not much to look at, but we'll refinish the wood seats and get new plastic parts, and I know Clara will enjoy it for years. We purposefully found one that big kids and even adults could swing on (once it's anchored in the ground). Also, we bought it from an extremely nice man who helped us take it apart, transport it, and put it up in our yard on a very chilly day. Still, I feel a little guilty for spending the money--after all, is a swing set a necessity?

Which brings me to the next part of my update. I think I think too much. Last Thursday, I spent five minutes looking at bottles of salad dressing at the grocery store. I almost never buy salad dressing. I mean, talk about not a necessity. I can make my own, and it's much better for us. But the convenience. I need convenience right now. I can't do everything that I always do AND finish my PhD in the next month. Still, I stood and stared at salad dressing for five minutes, going back and forth in my mind. I finally bought a bottle . . . but not before I realized that I'm driving myself crazy!

Indeed. The other day, I gave Clara a graham cracker for a snack and was immediately overcome with guilt. "I should have some yummy homemade treat to give her!" I thought. I had to tell myself that lots of kids eat graham crackers and survive childhood and even grow into thriving adults. See what I mean? I'm exhausting myself with all of this thinking and re-thinking.

And here I am thinking about how I'm thinking and then re-thinking too much. I think I'll take all this thinking on over to my dissertation now.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

A Nice Break

On Thursday, Evan's Aunt Vicki came for a short visit. We had a wonderful time with her. On Saturday morning, we went to Herman Park for a walk to enjoy the spring-like weather we've suddenly been enjoying. The Japanese Gardens were especially pleasant yesterday.

Watching koi in the pond.


Clara poses with her new little sister. (The picture doesn't show it, but my stomach really popped out this week. People can tell I'm pregnant now.)


Smiling at funny Daddy.



Being Clara at a park.




Just seconds ago, I finished a draft of my fifth and final chapter. (Well, it's actually my first chapter but I wrote it last.) Whew. Evan took Clara for an outing so now I'm doing a little bit of clean up on the other chapters before I turn my entire attention to writing the introduction this week.

Strangely, writing so much has provided me with my first chance to bond with Britomart (remember that's only her in utero name). Whenever she jumps around while I type, I'm reminded why I'm working hard right now. I want to enjoy my baby when she comes! While I wouldn't trade our Waco days for anything, I did feel rather stressed for much of Clara's infancy--her colic didn't help. So this time around, I want to clear the calendars and allow a few months just to enjoy my baby. And that's why I'm working diligently right now. Nothing motivates me like the anticipation of this baby's birth! (Well, not maybe the birth itself but you know what I mean.)


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

More Like It

I am happily sitting outside, watching Clara play. And we're not wearing jackets. Ah, yes, Houston is finally living up to my idea of what it ought to be in the winter time. And I'm thankful.

I'm really kicking my dissertation work into high gear. I need to defend in March, so that means I have to finish the darn thing by the end of February. Do you realize what this means? Diligence is required. Today I wrote 8 pages, with God's help. I also managed to wash the sheets and dishtowels, mop the kitchen floor, rake leaves for an hour, and feed Clara reasonably nutritious homemade food.

Can I keep this up? I need to write 7 pages per day until this chapter is finished. Then I need to write the introduction and revise the other chapters. The next six weeks are going to be busy. This requires a great deal of self-discipline for me. I have to get up early and write. I have to do all the housework while Clara plays or eats so that I can write while Clara enjoys a DVD or her rest time. (Yes, she actually is enjoying rest time lately, thanks to Little House on the Prairie books on tape.) I'm afraid this leaves very little internet time.

Speaking of which, I really should be revising the pages I wrote today. (My conscience is obviously in good working order.)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

So . . . about Pride and Prejudice

Remember long, long ago when I promised a post in which I defended my claim that the Keira Knightley Pride and Prejudice is for people who wish that Charlotte Bronte, not Jane Austen, had written the novel? Well, I have a few free minutes this afternoon (read: Clara is watching a DVD and I don't have to cook dinner tonight), so I'll finally make good on that promise.

First, let me say this is not a critique or review of the film per se; I simply want to talk about why the film is not really reflective of Jane Austen and her art. Also, even though I loved Jane Austen as a teenager and found her novels to be something of a revelation, I'm really not what's called a Janeite--I don't idolize Austen or obsess over her. In fact, people who do seem weird to me because I don't think that they really know what Austen was about: women who are obsessed with Colin Firth after his performance in the 1995 Pride and Prejudice are enjoying Austen for strange and self-centered reasons. But I really do think that Austen is one of the best literary artists in English. And Pride and Prejudice, while maybe not her greatest novel (I personally think Emma is), is perhaps her best plot. It's so simple! And yet, she combines it with such masterfully subtle characterization . . .

Back to my point. Though there are a few who would argue otherwise, Austen was not a Romantic. She doesn't share the Romantic view of nature, of humans, or of human relationships--love in particular. But the Keira Knightley film ignores all of this and turns Pride and Prejudice into tale of stormy passion that Charlotte Bronte would have been proud to call her own. By the way, do you know what Bronte said about Austen?

She said, "[Jane Austen] does her business of delineating the surface of the lives of genteel English people curiously well. There is a Chinese fidelity, a miniature delicacy, in the painting. She ruffles her reader by nothing vehement, disturbs him with nothing profound. The passions are perfectly unknown to her: she rejects even a speaking acquaintance with that stormy sisterhood ... What sees keenly, speaks aptly, moves flexibly, it suits her to study: but what throbs fast and full, though hidden, what the blood rushes through, what is the unseen seat of life and the sentient target of death--this Miss Austen ignores."

While I don't think Bronte's assessment of Austen entirely fair, it does serve to highlight the differences between the two authors. Austen was interested in the observing the details of life--details which revealed (as they concealed) that which was passionate and profound. She never deals with passion, as such. She never glories in "what throbs fast and full," though she does recognize the existence of the passions, and the need to control them if one was to enjoy loving communion with others--in man-woman relationships but also in family relationships. While Austen continually exposes the follies of individuals which mar their family, friend, and romantic relationships, she is also hopeful regarding the possibility of human happiness within relationships, particularly marriage. But she certainly doesn't, like Bronte, think that strength of passion is the key to happiness--however fleeting it may be--in relationships. For Austen, happiness in relationships can be expected of those who have learned something from their interaction with the world; specifically, they have learned something about themselves and their selfishness and fallibility.

And here's where the Keira Knightley Pride and Prejudice film goes wrong. "The passions . . . that stormy sisterhood" are exalted in the film. Just think about the way Elizabeth talks to her parents when her mother attempts to marry her to Collins: "You can't make me!" she shouts at them. Or what Darcy says when he proposes to Elizabeth the second time: "You have captivated me body and soul." You know what he says in the novel? He tells her, "My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever." Now, I'm not one of those who thinks that films must perfectly adhere to the novel, but here is a change which transforms the nature of the love between Darcy and Elizabeth. It becomes a mighty passion which takes control of Darcy, "body and soul" rather than a love which has learned to respect and regard the beloved as it had not done before.

Another way that the film transforms the novel into a Romantic tale is through the settings. In the film, Darcy first proposes to Elizabeth in the midst of the pouring rain during a thunderstorm under the shelter of some neo-Classical edifice overlooking a lake. How very expressive of the passions they both must be feeling! In the novel, he proposes in the Collins' small house. How very expressive of the restraint both are under when relating to one another--restraint which is only momentarily broken, to the later chagrin of both. The second proposal scene takes place on a misty moor (straight from Bronte, lover of the wild moors!) at the break of dawn where both Elizabeth and Darcy are wandering, unable to rest due to their overwhelming passion for one another. In the novel, Darcy proposes for the second time as he and Elizabeth are left alone on their walk by the departure of Kitty and the slow pace of Jane and Bingley. Neither seeks the other out in restless passion. Their romance occurs in the context of Elizabeth's very mundane family life, the presence of which is so important in the formation of their love.

The film and the novel share a basic plot in common, but, honestly, little else. It's fine to enjoy one or the other, or both, but let's not get them confused!

Clara is begging me for snuggles. So that's all!